Live The Right Way - Be a NON Complainer

Whiners, thumbsuckers, complainers and blame specialists, all have one thing in common...

THEIR OWN PROFESSIONALISM...

... in the special art of... PRACTICED MISERY.

The fact is, we ALL may have been influenced by our own madness at some time or another. We may still be at the mercy of it to a certain degree.

But c'mon... there's got to be a sell-by-date on all that foolishness... right?

Continually whinging, whining, blaming and complaining about... our health, our job, our business, the state of the economy, our own economy, rogue politicians, the crummy weather, relationships, confidence levels, life prospects, age, time...

... complaining about any of that DOESN'T help. Doesn't move us forward. Doesn't help us fix what needs to be fixed.

Have you heard of Randy Pausch?

A much loved Professor at Carnegie Mellon University.

He's NOT a complainer.

Even when diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. (terminal)

He chose to live life... to the fullest... with fun, excitement and adventure.

And he chose to live that way, well before being diagnosed.

But now, knowing what he now knew, his life, took on a whole new meaning.

Here's a ten minute or so video.

Watch it.

We ALL need to learn a number of lessons... in how to live well. We need teachers to teach and inspire. You'll find Dr Randy Pausch hard to beat as a life educator, inspirer and a really good human being.



If you know someone who continually complains about a part of their life, and does nothing about it, stick this video in front of their eyes.

If YOU have been complaining and whining about something you've wanted, but is not happening... or... something unwanted has happened that has you locked into a being a blithering blamer, see this video and note the effect it has on you.

And if it doesn't have an effect on you... check your pulse to see if you're still living!

How about making this a 2010 commitment (or even, a life commitment) - to crush blaming, whining, thumbsucking and complaining in all its forms, and instead... DO SOMETHING TO FIX WHAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED!

It's an interesting choice - whining and complaining or fixing things and moving on.

And the rewards of both?

Well, it's either... happiness or misery.

And we can choose the kind of day-to-day experience we want.

Raja Hireker

P.S. Here's the video made AFTER Dr Randy Pausch's death.

Fearless Artistry

Watching an artist, a real artist perform their work, is nothing but magical.

Whether it's in sport, literature, entertainment, painting... artistry is artistry.

And we've all been in such presence of an artist because we can feel it, see it, experience it. It's what it DOES to us.

True artistry literally, takes your breath away. It leaves you speechless. Spellbound. Tearful.

I'd like to invite you to watch something.

But before that, please read what follows. It's important to what you'll witness.

The video you're about to see, shows the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent, 24 year old Kseynia Simonova. She's seen drawing a series of pictures on an illuminated sand table, showing how ordinary people were affected by the World War II invasion on her country.

Personally, I've never seen such creative artistry in any other shape or form.

Of course, you can make up your own mind.

Hanging Ourselves With Our Own Noose!

There's an unfair place, where the judge, the jurors, everyone - has got it in for us.

But you know, in this Kangaroo Court, EVERYTHING is fair and just.

Huh?

Here's something simple, though what I think, powerful at the same time.

We need nothing OUTSIDE of us to commit ourselves to a life we hate! One of misery. One of continual blame and apathy.

Quite honestly, we pretty much sentence ourselves to the life we have based on nothing more than the thoughts we feed ourselves.

And often, no... ALWAYS!... it's 100% to do with the make-believe stories we create and feed ourselves.

And what happens when you feed something, continually? That's right - it GROWS and EXPANDS... and, depending on the thought, it turns into something ghastly and horrible.

So, what happens when you catch yourself saying (and it's only ALWAYS the thought that creates all of it)...

... "how do I get past the fear, how do I get the courage, how do I get the desire, I'm uncomfortable about this, how do I get passed that, I'm overwhelmed with things, how can I manage things, I've got so many things going on that I don't know what to focus on, I have faith and hope that things will get better but it doesn't seem to be working..."

So of course, there's NOTHING going on here apart from the sweet stories we stick to for dear life! And we've continually - just like a guest we've grown fond of and accustomed to - feed the story until it becomes a rampant, self obsessed, personal philosophy.

I'm scared - A STORY we've made up.

I need more courage - a STORY that says I've no courage.

I need to be more willing - a STORY that says I won't do anything until I become more willing, first.

I need to get past the fear - a MAKE-BELIEVE story we hold onto to get us OUT of action.

Make-believe thoughts - they'll cripple us -- if we let them.

Ask a kid if they'd like to go out to and play in the snow and they'll leap up and let out a yell that you wouldn't believe. Ask the kid if they want to go out and play in the snow wearing shorts and a t-shirt, they'll look at you and think you're Santa who has just made their biggest wish, come true!

You'll notice that there's no story there that kids cling to. There's no fear.

There's no need to feel courageous or muster up the willingness to do it - they DO IT, without any kind of silly, made up, story.

There's nothing getting in the way of what they want - there's just super excitement and a life of adventure.

Can we live like that as adults?

Sure. All we need do is practice a story that fuels and feeds us in a way that supports what we want.

No stupid foolish story needed - especially the ones we hang ourselves with... those stories we cling that act like our own noose - where we become the judge and jury in a Kangaroo Court... created out of our own madness.

Simply pure excited adventure and energy. And that comes by deliberately choosing what we want and how we want to live. Why not script and create another story for you - one that'll have you falling in love with YOU and what you want?

Are You Ready to... Turn Pro?

What if your life could change because of one decision, one distinction, one stroke... do you think it can happen?

Why not?

Just as our life momentarily changes when we take a new side road or a new route, so it is when we shift our minds.

If you've never read the WAR of ART by Steven Pressfield, do it. Your life can change... if you want it to.

There's one phrase in that book (in fact, it's only TWO WORDS) that has forced its existence into my mind.

What's the two words?

TURNING PRO

That's it!

That's what has me fired and fueled and looking at every aspect of my life in a completely different way than I would normally be doing so.

What changed?

I changed.

I changed my thinking about what's possible.

And of course, whenever there's a declaration about wanting change to happen, then naturally, there's RESITANCE waiting... just around the corner... looking to drag our sorry behinds, to where it belongs - normality and mediocrity.

Steven Pressfield says it like this --

"Resistance HATES it when we turn pro!"

I like that.

I really like that because it's so true and it's so full of common-sense insight that it's so easy for it to slip under our conscious awakened thoughts.

And here's something else that happens when we Turn Pro (and that's true for ANYTHING we care deeply enough about):

What happens is that we COMMIT. We play at a different level. We play for keeps.

That's what happens when we TURN PRO.

And when it comes to writing and getting things done, there's no messing about with a Pro.

Someone once asked Somerset Maugham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration.

"I write only when inspiration strikes, he replied. Fortunately, it strikes every morning at nine o' clock, sharp"

A Pro.

What's important is the WORK.

Not the excuses. Not the reasons. Not the inner idiocy. None of that.

What matters most is DOING THE WORK.

It's what separates the Pros... from the rest

The book, the WAR of ART - Breakthrough the Blocks and Win Your Creative Battles - Steven Pressfield... Get it. It'll change your life... if you'll allow it in and are open to it.

Ideas Are Like Slippery Fish - Spear Them With a Pencil Before They Get Away!

Last Friday I was sitting with a, sort of, prospective marketing and writing client.

There was no agenda or rigidity as such. Just shooting the idea breeze, as it were.

And the amazing thing that happens when you have no real agenda, no real clue as to where you're heading, the almost miraculous can happen.

If you take a look at that piece of paper above, in the top left is my one hour or so meeting. (The rest of the doodles and scribbles are... other meetings!)

Now here's what's super instructive about this: my prospective client had a number of ideas in how to market his product and services. And they were good.

So when he saw me think, ask questions, process a number of thoughts and then take those ideas that were running about in my mind and scribble them down onto that piece of harmless, scrunched up paper, he was gasping for breath when he saw the little tiny blueprint I created for him.

I really didn't know what was going to materialise from our conversation from the outset.

That's what my good friend and author Steve Chandler says about creating from where you are - miracles can happen right where you are, in the current moment.

How true.

Here's what's key: if all I did was deliver those ideas and let them swim around in the atmosphere for the time we were together, and did nothing more but try to remember them at some future date, we'd both be saying... "what they heck can you remember about our meeting?"

Of course, the answer being... a BIG FAT NOTHING!

Ideas are so fleeting and so delicate that if we don't spear them with a pencil and grab them with all our might, they'll sail away into the vast ocean of life... never to resurface in their original form again.

Marketing ideas, business ideas, writing ideas, coaching ideas, fearless living ideas... they are all waiting to be created and pounced on.

Do it... get your notepaper and pencil and create your world!

(Oh, and as an aside, when you really DELIVER your stuff, people want to buy into it. I mean, they really want to buy into it!)

The Practice of Talent

Friend and Coach, Steve Chandler, mentioned a book in a recent communication to members of his Club Fearless (http://www.clubfearless.net/).

The title of the book intrigued me, as well as the work inside. The book's full title is - The Talent Code - unlocking the secret of skill in maths, art, music, sport, and just about anything else. Written by author, Daniel Coyle.

The book is an amazing journey into the 'talent hotbeds' of the world. If you thought genius' was reserved for 'others', get this book and you'll find a hotbed of lies and assumptions we may have been living with for years.

The key idea that I took away (and which was totally evident from the work in the book) was that talent and skill, is available to everyone because we all have it, in some way, shape or form.

And, that, when practiced and rehearsed and when we are coached or mentored to reach the best version of what we're capable of, we can literally, shift our own world.

I've also scuffed and dog eared and written notes on almost every page of a book called, 'You Haven't Taught if They Haven't Learned.'

This book is golden because it comes from two people - one (Swen Nater) who has been directly mentored and tutored by the legendary master basketball coach, Coach John Wooden, and, the other (Ronald Gallimore) who studied and analysed the coaching principles, philosophies and practices of the great Wooden. And he identified certain patterns and traits we can all use to better our lives in whatever area we choose.

(John Wooden coached UCLA - University of California, Los Angeles - to an unprecented 10 victories in the most demanding of college sports arenas you can imagine. And, it wasn't by accident or luck that he became the 'winningest' coach in history.)

A couple of Coach Wooden's many guiding principles, has to do with practice and skill. And, that by hard diligent application, any skill could be learned.

He was a master at ensuring his practice sessions were nothing but skill, team spirit and conditioning based, and, that there was no time wasted in unnecessary activity. In fact, the planning of his practice session lasted longer than the practice session itself!

Coach Wooden was known to have put his players through a process until players could execute the fundamentals in an automatic and unconscious way.

In other words, the disciplined practice of talent.
Those are 4 words worth considering jotting down - especially if you're looking to help others (or yourself) to excel at something where they're not quite 'there' yet.

Continuing with the sporting context here, let me use another couple because I think it ties things together.

The two soccer players you see on the left are considered two of the best in the world.

Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.

Both players went head to head in the recent European Cup Winner's Final where Messi, playing for Barcelona, outshone his fellow skill merchant who played for Manchester United, where Barcelona, lifted the trophy.

What I found instructional and informative, were the pre-match comments of Manchester United's manager and coach, Sir Alex Ferguson - it was about the skill and application of that skill by both 'gifted grafters'.

Ferguson strongly believes that it's their work ethic that sets them apart. That they marry their talents with hard work. He says... "there are some players like Messi and Ronaldo who are innately gifted. But this is not enough and there is a practice element which becomes very important".

He also went on to say...

"If you watch Ronaldo, he practices after every squad training session".

What's obvious here is that the 'special quality' most top players posses, is the fact that they're willing to want to go and look for that extra edge. And they do that by creating and developing something on their own.

There's something about the phrase "an overnight success" that has 'injustice' written all over it. But then again, I suppose that those who do anything worthwhile, practice their overnight success to perfection - every night!

Andy Murray is hoping to become Britain's Men's Wimbledon Singles Tennis champ - after a 71-year drought. The last British man to lift the trophy in victory, was, Fred Perry.

Many years ago, Perry (below) was asked about whether the nation would produce another Wimbledon winner.

His answer was somewhat revealing and a kick in the head to all those 'overnight success' seekers.

"It's not a matter of producing anybody," he said. "It's a case of somebody, somewhere, who wants to succeed badly enough and is determined and bloody-minded enough to make sure he does."

Skill and talent lies in head zone of anyone and everyone.

Practice is the instructive genius that'll make anyone a believer... of themselves. And if you care to prove it, all you've got to do is... put it to the test.

Raja Hireker
www.CoachingByWriting.com

Anything We've Ever Really Wanted... We've Got!!

There was a time I used to crib about wanting a better physique, a better paying job, being a better tennis player, become fearless and goal oriented... be funnier... and everything else I said I wanted.

And, when I didn't get what I thought I wanted, I simply put it down to nothing much in particular. What I mean by that is I didn't really take a deep look into the dynamics of what was going on.

The fact of the matter is, there isn't much analysing to do.

Because, whatever I really want, I've got.

And let me broaden this out...

Whatever any of us has wanted, we've got.

And that's a key word, want, because, we either do something to get what we say we want, or... we don't do nothing much in particular.

Now if it's the latter, then what that means is that we never really truly deeply wanted it in the first place!

And that's good to know because why unnecessarily beat ourselves up over something we think we want, but do nothing to get it.

So if I really really wanted a better physique, I'd be creating a plan, a system, a programme of work in order to reach my desired physique. I'd be doing daily things like sit ups, squats, pull ups... I'd be totally aware of how I move through the day. (And, in fact, that's exactly what I've been doing for the last couple of months now and I'm experiencing a wonderful difference in my strength, stamina, 'look', mental clarity, ability to concentrate and get more done)

On the other hand, if all I did was wish a better physique into existence and simply hoped my health would improve with a little half-hearted dabbling here and there, then it's not something I really really want to have happen in my life.

And we can apply that mindshift thinking and processing to ANYTHING we say we want in our lives.

What about those in business?

Can we really want to have our business explode and be the best version of it that it can possibly be?

Sure... if we truly WANT that.

So, if I really wanted that to be the case, to make my business the best possible version that it can be, then I'd have to be working, acting in accordance to a plan of prosperity.

I'd have to be totally consumed with serving my customers and clients with products and services that can benefit their lives.

I'd plan to keep in regular contact and communication with my customers... I'd be listening to what my customers have to tell me... I'd be creating new, joyful experiences for customers, employees and, myself.

I'd commit to doing one task at a time. I'd commit to outsource the things I can't or don't want to do.

Can you see there's a powerful, practical, purposeful difference at play here than merely winging it or hoping that the business will take care of it self, which in turn, will magically, give me what I want?

It's Disneyland thinking. Pixie dust sprinkling.

And the truth of the matter is... (and whether we like hearing it or not, isn't going to make a difference to this truth), all of us have got what we want in our life currently, because... that's what we want!

It's not much more complicated than that.

There's really no need to reach for the long, drawn out services of a psychologist or psychiatrist - this is plain simple stuff -- we either want things, or, we don't. We either do things, or we don't.

The man says to me that his relationship is on a roller coaster of being either one of deep creeping silence and separateness, and then, it changes to one of banging voices, screaming madness and horrible blame.

And when I suggested that that... "that's what you want your relationship to be like or you wouldn't be doing your part", it stopped him, cold.

So, what is it you REALLY WANT? (without having to wait for Santa to shower you with his own idea of what you want!)

Name it, then... go claim it!

www.CoachingByWriting.com

Face to Face With Real Life Fearlessness

So, what do you do when you see a child who's bleeding from the mouth after a fall from the monkey bars at the local playground?

And, what if that child was, your very own!

Well, that's what happened to my five year old daughter a few days ago.

And, quite frankly, I thought I knew what fearlessness meant, until I saw what took place on the surgeon's operating table.

I mean, we've all read about some act of fearlessness, courage and boldness, but, we've probably never really identified or felt it... up close... and, personal.

So when the consulting surgeon said that it's better that the lower lip was operated on (my daughter fell from a height of around five feet, letting go of the monkey bars, but landed on her chin, so pushing her lower teeth through her bottom lip), both my wife and I agreed.

We also agreed that general anesthetic would be better, but, settled for local anesthetic.

So what the surgeon first did was apply an anesthetic gel to the ripped and torn area of my daughter's lower lip.

What happened next, jolted us.

The surgeon said that he was going to apply stitches to the area, now, right at that very moment.

What jolted us was the fact that there was no local anesthetic being given.

When we asked the surgeon, he just said that we should do it now because it just needed to be done, right there and then.

So now I was spread across the surgeon's consulting couch to get in front of my daughter who was propped up against the back support.

I was showing her pictures and videos on my mobile phone, just to distract her attention from the stuff that was about to happen.

My wife positioned herself behind my daughter's head, supporting and comforting her from that position.

The blood was now, flowing.

My daughter, was screaming.

I was fumbling with the various images on the phone, trying to talk through the pictures and videos to my daughter.

The surgeon was stitching, and stitching, and stitching.

It seemed like, an eternity.

I was getting hotter and hotter.

I was sweating, madly.

Like I had some form of tropical fever.

I needed air.

No. I WANTED air!

Desperately.

I removed my sweater with one hand, still fumbling with the phone in the other.

The surgeon looked up at me and asked if I was okay.

"I'm burning up" I told him.

And in a matter of seconds, he'd finished his work.

I was now in the corner, head between my knees.

My daughter was having the blood wiped from around her mouth area. She had five stitches.

I looked up at her from where I was sitting, still a little hot, eyes moist. And totally in awe of what happened.

I'd just witnessed pure courage and fearlessness... in all its glory and reality.

My daughter.

She's my super hero.

Who's yours?

Who Are You Serving?

If you're a coach, consultant or anyone exchanging high value services for money, this will be a rather important message for you.

In fact, if you’re experiencing any sort of lack or frustration in ANY area of life, this will still be rather important for you.

I know many authors, consultants, coaches, public speakers, healers, therapists and professionals of all kinds... who are barely making enough to get by.

Why is that?

Isn't having an armful of qualifications and certificates, enough for people to find us and demand us to take their money?

Well, quite frankly, those who think that way are literally BROKE.

That's because no matter WHAT it is we do as a profession, someone still has to be SERVED.

And that's an important word - served.

So, if you're struggling or if you know someone who is really struggling with their profession, career or business, ask them this question --
WHO ARE YOU SERVING?

Quite frankly, the only thing that counts is helping and serving others.

So, those professionals who sign up for a thousand and one social networking sites and who are intent in building their 'web of influence'... are spending enormous amounts of time, energy and mental capital on their efforts.

But I bet if you ask them 'who are you serving... where is the value that's been transmitted here?'... you'll get that blank, far away look backed up by a stunned silence that they can't quite wrap their heads around.

Because really - that's the only question you need to ask (again and again) - who are you serving - if you ever find that... you're not making the money you want, don't have the clients you want, don't have the life you want.

And the thing about this question is that it cuts through all the self chatter and the inner mumbo jumbo and the pathetic excuses we throw at ourselves.

Because let's face it; we love to defend ourselves, to rationalise, to give justifications to ourselves when things look like they'll hit the fan, the wardrobe and any other item in the house.

Yes. The question really is an EXCUSE BUSTER. And, it's a powerful RECESSION BUSTING tool, also.

And so let's take a short look at our relationships and see how this all fits together.

Ask a friend you meet occassionally, how their relationships are doing, how are they working out?

Well, for most, their relationships are pretty ho-hum.

Nothing new. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing exciting on a day to day basis.

In fact for many, there's a kind of slow, creeping separateness that gets wider and wider and wider.

So, when you find yourself of someone you know in a crapped out relationship, just notice where the focus of attention is.

Is it on the person themselves or, on the other party in the relationship?

Quite honestly, when you really serve others, when you take the concern and the drama off of you, and you focus on helping others, you can't have a relationship that doesn't work!

It's just not possible.

That's because your attention isn't on you, you're not focussing everything on you - instead, you're serving others, you're helping others, you're looking out for their best interests.

So, if you're feeling frustrated, angry, unhappy, unproductive, lethargic, miserable, depressed... simply turn things around and ask...

WHO am I serving here?

And notice this; when you serve others, you become a true hero to those very people you help and serve.

Now tell me that there's a better way to be than that!

Raja Hireker
www.CoachingByWriting.com

Creative Power - On Tap!!

A friend of mine received a tax bill.

It was for an amount that buckled him.

Briefly.

So, what did he do after gathering himself?

He went out for the longest walk of his life.

And what did he DO whilst walking?

He thought.

He thought how could he be of service to others.

He thought how could he offer something jaw dropping and irresistible.

He came back from his long walk and wrote all he could until his fingers ached and bled.

In fact, he wrote pages and pages of notes that contained -- pages and pages of creative ideas.

So what happened to these creative ideas?

Well, he put the best one, into action, into the marketplace.

And, the marketplace... swallowed it up.

Which meant...TAX BILL PAID! (and one happy friend)

So what's really going on here? Where's the REAL power here? (and we ALL possess it)

Well, it's in the QUESTIONS we ASK OURSELVES.

And there's really no 'in-between' here.

Either the questions help, or hinder.

They bring solutions or simply add to the problem.

They create the possibility of happiness, or misery.

So the true skill here, the true power here, is in asking the right questions.

THAT'S THE MASTER ASSET we all have.

It's just that we may not have practiced using this muscle of all muscles. And that too, in a way that creates what we want.

Many business owners ask the WRONG QUESTIONS.

They're asking - how can we cut back here, what can we get rid of, how can I lower my prices, how can I crush the competition, how can I avoid marketing, how can I be tightfisted with my vendors and suppliers...

When instead...

They could be asking questions like

==> How can I be of better service...

==> What can I add that would improve my customer's lives...

==> How can I better respond to my customers' and prospects' needs...

==> How can I communicate more effectively and moreauthentically to my target audience...

==> How can I improve my advertising and marketing so itbrings in a better response from higher quality prospects...

==> What ways can I make my offer irresistible to the prospects and clients I serve...

==> How can I get my target audience to fall in lovewith me, no matter what the economic climate...

==> How can I grow my business, no matter if everyone around me is closing up shop...

==> How can I get my emails read, responded to and acted on...

The thing about these questions is that they're seeking solutions. They're requesting the asker, to find answers which in turn, create momentum and movement. Answers that benefit the end user (- the client, customer or prospect)

What questions are YOU are asking of your business,career or practice?

And...do you find that the questions you do ask, do they help or do they hinder? Do they add joy, or misery? Are they optimistic based, or loaded with pessimism?

Well, when you make a practice of asking the RIGHT questions, you'll soon notice that there's no room on the table for any other kind!

Keep asking those bright creative questions andwatch your business, career or venture... SOAR!

Raja Hireker

http://www.coachingbywriting.com/

Cracking The Impossible

If you've ever marvelled at what you thought was just simply impossible, then your eyes won't believe what they're seeing in the video below.

I was stunned, actually left breathless with what I saw.

I bought the DVD.

I purchased the book last week - and read it in one day.

Magical.

Now, I realise that the word Impossible has been used to describe many feats and accomplishments... of various kinds.

However, when you see what you're about to see, just picture your own impossible dream and...how it too, can come to life... if you let it!

The Awesome Power of Focus!!

Here's the best example of focus, I've possibly seen.

So, I've dropped my children to school and I'm now in my car, waiting for the traffic lights to turn from red, to green. I'm adjusting the volume on the CD player and somehow, from the corner of my eye, I could sense this frantic movement and activity on the pavement, some twenty to thirty yards ahead of me.

And, I couldn't quite figure what I was concentrating on because there was a mass of people on the pavement, all going about their day during the hustle and bustle of the morning.

And then, somehow, I lost all that movement. It all seemed to have blended into that multi-coloured, swaying sea of humanity.

But, just like a rabbit throwing the fox off the trail, the chase starts again. And this time, I could see exactly what was going on.

A woman was on the run. All the while, she had a little baby, tucked under her right arm like a rugby ball or an American football.

And, with her left arm, she was steering and pushing... an empty pram!

Boy could this woman run!

This was now becoming must viewing.

I tracked her through the crowd, seeing her zip and engineer her way through the denseness like an Olympic runner. Quite frankly, I'd never seen anything like it.

I was thinking to myself that what on earth was going on here. Had she robbed a bank and the pram was her getaway vehicle. And if it was, why was it empty and what was the baby doing at the bank?

Or, had she snatched the child and then found out she'd been rumbled. So, before thinking about giving it all up, she decided to leg it, scarper for her life!

Oh, the drama we can all create!

Well, after those fleeting thoughts evaporated, I let my eyes travel a little further to the direction where the woman was heading.

And then it struck me; this lady, with small baby under her arm, running like a demon, fanatically gripping one of the pram handles... what she was doing was running to catch the bus!

Yes; this lady who was just unbelievable in her commitment and focus, was running to get on a then, stationary bus.

WOW!!... I thought; now that's what I call focus!

There was nothing else on her mind than to get that bus.

There's no gossip going on. There's no debating about things. She's not travelling in two directions at the same time.

One goal. One mission. One game plan.

And, did she get the bus?

Well, I can only speculate and say that if her intensity and her commitment of purpose and if her focus was anything to go by, then yes, I'd say she would've got that bus.

As timing would have it, my 'lights' turned green.

I was on the move.

I tried arching my neck behind whilst driving so I didn't quite see the end result.

However, the important thing was the total focus and the absolute dedication to... go for it.

How many women (or men) would've tucked their little child under their arm like that, run like that, steer a pram like that?

Not many.

It's amazing what we can accomplish when we focus!

If You Think About It Too Much, You'll Burn Your Foot!

So, the first time I got on to the scorching ret hot coals on my crazy firewalk adventure, I breezed through it like a pro.

And the second time? A burnt foot!!

So what happened here? Pro, to a burnt frazzle... all in the space of 15 minutes!

Was it... fear, lack of belief, shaky confidence, lack of enthusiasm?

If I say to you that the cause of my burnt foot, was my own emotion, would you believe me... maybe just a little?

Well, that's exactly what happened - my own emotion and my own thoughts about things.

Let me ask you this:

Have you ever had this happen to you; you have this great idea or thought about something and the more you think about it, you find that you've filled your head with reasons to not go ahead with things.

And so now, you've convinced yourself out of the whole idea. Have you ever had that happen to you?

And on the other hand, have you done something without thinking too much about it? And so, you went ahead and did it without too much care and without the whole debate and conversation about it.

And because of that, you achieved what you wanted?

Well, that's exactly what happened to me and the firewalk.

The first time of asking, I didn't think about what I was doing so I just went ahead and did it. There was no inner chatter and no conversation that was going to convince me out of things. I was focussed.

And, I wasn't riding high on any emotional wave.

However, the second time around, something happened inside my own mind. Some conversation or other had taken place. And however subtle it was, it took place. And in that conversation, some emotion or other took place.

And the result?

A burnt foot.

How many times have we all convinced ourselves out of doing something that we know, deep down, could enhance, boost, create something new and great in our lives?

How many times?

Probably, plenty.

It's really true that our emotions can work for us, or against us.

Because when you really think about it, my task in that firewalk, was to walk from one end, to the other. Nothing else. But, it was my own made up drama that caused the resulting physical pain.

Imagine the tightrope walker walking from one end of the rope or plank, to the other. And it's just that the plank or rope is 1000 feet up and between two buildings... what are your thoughts now?

Again, the only task we're involved in, is to walk from one end to the other.

And maybe you'll see this too, because most things in life that show up as results, are pretty logical and formulaic.

Now what if our emotions take a hold and the inner mumbling starts... what do you think will happen to the walk?!!

Quite naturally... disaster!

But is that tightrope task any different to anything we may want to do?

Well, I'd carefully consider the idea that wherever we're not achieving or succeeding in an area of life that we say is important to us, I'd say there's a firewalk, or tightrope or self hanging conversation going on.

And do you know what - it's only a conversation so what if we could change and create another conversation? One that totally supports what we're up to.

What do you think will happen then!?

Now doesn't that make life rather more interesting than a burnt foot experience?

Stamping Out The Practice of Mediocrity

If you ever wanted to see what class and professionalism and excitement and extraordinary ability is all about, all you have to do is watch and marvel and excite over the tennis matches played between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal.

And when you see these titans in action, you'll not be stumped by mediocrity or lethargy or incompetence. You'll not ever wonder about the lack of magnificence and beauty and finesse and muscle.

But on the other hand, if you wanted to experience what mediocrity and flatness and incompetence and devastating boredom is all about, simply - if you can bear it - listen to the BBC commentators when they're describing the excellence of a Federer and Nadal match up.

And so the 2009 Australian Open final between these extraordinary Tennis Gladiators produced the inevitable glory and drama and excellence.

And, inevitably, the BBC tv commentators produced their flat, funereal, pathetic mixture of incompetence and dryness and mediocrity.

The ability to inspire and move and motivate is what happens when you see true excellence in motion. And that can happen anywhere and everywhere. The movies. The newspapers. Sport. Literature. Our own communication. It can happen everywhere.

However, mediocrity and incompetence and suffocating unprofessionalism is more widespread and obvious, than not. And it's a full time job stamping all that out from our lives.

So now we know that we've got to be aware and on the ball and full of deliberate consciousness if we want to be on the side of excellence and professionalism and excitement.

And when we do that, we'll send mediocrity and incompetence and the pathetic and flat way of being, out of our lives.

So if you want to experience the difference between the extraordinary, and the bland and mediocre, and that too, in the same heartbeat, experience a tennis match between Federer and Nadal and listen to the BBC commentary about it.

(And of course, I'm not including one John McEnroe as one of the mediocre commentators - quite the opposite, he's pretty much the only real class act when it comes to tennis tv commentary)

It's About Love, Not Time...

There's a HUGE myth running in and out of our brains and it goes something like this...

"I'd love to do that but I just don't have the time."

Now not only is this a common line for most... it's a BIG FAT LIE.

And the reason that it's a big whopper is because if we really loved something, really loved something... we'd MAKE the time to DO IT... wouldn't we?

I mean, it just makes plain simple sense.

And that's where most of us go wrong - thinking that simple, isn't something valuable enough so we go look for the complex and it's no wonder because check out the huge chaos in our brains!

So, say I want to play the piano and I want to be good at it but oh look, there's no time in the day for it so looks like I'll have to put that on the shelf of my life and carry on with the normal and the mundane and the boring stuff of my everyday life and... oh my gosh, let me check the calendar... GASP.... I've only a few more years left before checkout time!!

Can you see the diabolical chaos going on in our heads because we believe the pathetic lie that there's not enough time so I'm going to scrap something that I say is really important to me in my life... can you see the chaos going on here?

And so when we get to the bottom of it all, the thing all along was that... I really DIDN'T WANT to play the piano because if I did, if I really loved and wanted to play it and it was something that I thought about and I listened to the music I wanted to play and I could imagine myself playing the piano and I go and find out about piano classes and I look to see about purchasing maybe a used piano...

Well, then there's evidence that I'm really into this and I'm really loving this and this is what I want to get really good at and whatever time I've got in the day or the week, then I'll go at it with all I've got because I really want this. And if I REALLY want it more than I believe, I'll be up early and I'll be DOING IT.

So you see, it's NEVER a matter of not having enough time. It's always a matter of Do I Love it Enough TO MAKE THE TIME and get really good at what I want to do.

And that's pretty much it.

Of course, there's all the inner flapping of the head and mind we get into when there's a reason to defend and justify things and all that but none of that matters because all the conversation stops when we're DOING what we say we want.

And the conversational flapping stops because we're really doing it because we love it.

I'd love to make this more difficult and more complex and more deeper but you know, life's not meant to be wasted.

Raja Hireker
www.CoachingByWriting.com

New Years Celebrations... ALL YEAR ROUND!

So it's now 2009 and what's really happened here to the mind of the global nation? I mean, it's just a crazy wild scene - New Years Day. Celebration, fireworks, hugging, smiles... I mean, it's just a wild and crazy scene. And it's just beautiful, isn't it?

Think about it for a moment -- in the twinkling of an eye, with a click of the fingers, the whole thought of the so called world financial catastrophe of 2008, is forgotten, wiped out, put behind us... just like that.

Amazing!

So then, do we need wait for a New Years Day type celebration to fix our concerns and problems and frustrations and dilemmas because it's guaranteed that something will come up for us during the year, I mean, it has to, just look at the odds of it not happening!

So what happens now, now that this big ugly problem has reared its nasty head; where's the NEW YEARS celebration when we need it? Oh can't we just pour out the solution from a bottle kept in the fridge and have it be done with... can't it just be washed away and sent straight into the depths of the ocean... can't it be as simple and as quick as that?

Most believe knock backs or setbacks are supposed to last a long long time and so we mentally prepare ourselves for the stories of woe and of trouble and of hurt and of blame and of victimisation... and we get comfortable telling these stories to ourself and to anyone else who will listen.

But see, we can totally end that game if we want to and we can celebrate the end of that game and we can congratulate ourselves for not playing that game... anymore...

And now instead, we've chosen a new game and the beautiful thing about this new game is that it doesn't include any of the old rules we used to follow and practice and become oh so professional at... there's none of that in this game because this game is about choosing what we want to have happen in this new 2009 and we're going to create a magnificent plan to make things happen.

And do you know what's really really important about this? Well, what's so important about this is the fact that we're creating and playing by our own rules and that's magical because it could have been that we got stuck on some OLD rule in 2008 and so now, we're not into those old rules because none of that served us well so that's why... we're going to drop all that.

Please tell me you can feel the power rising up in you when you hear that you can create whatever you want in 2009 because you're now setting the rules and you're calling the shots and you're in total command... please tell me that you can feel all that because if and when you can, you'll see that there's the PERMISSION SHIFT you've been hiding out from.

So this new game... this new game is only about you and what you want. Does that sound selfish and too greedy and so uncaring about what others want and their needs and all that... does it seem you don't care?

Well, I think not because what you want will no doubt include your family somewhere along the line. And that's the way it should be because if you were chasing whatever success means to you, and you left out family and relationships and love and caring, then it's all a great waste of time and money and energy and... life. It's all a great waste.

Create what you want to have happen in 2009... because it's the best answer to a life in the doldrums and a life of blame and a life of nothing much happening at all.

Have a year long celebration of success!

Raja Hireker

Creating Personal & Lifechange Transformation
Through Writing http://CoachingByWriting.com

How 12 Angry Men Can, Astonishingly, Turn Your Life Around

If there's one thing you can do for someone you love, someone you know who's troubled or someone you know who needs desperate help and nothing has really worked for them, then get them a copy of the astonishing movie - 12 Angry Men

And, if it's you who is in a dilemma about where your life is going or what you really want or where your best work is, then get this movie for yourself and watch it again and again and again.

So what's so astonishing about this movie that gets me writing about it and has me telling you to invest part of your life in it... what's so astonishing about it?

To start with, you'll find secret lessons slip into your mind... the kind of lessons you'll not learn in any book or formal course of teaching.

And I'm not going to spoil things by telling you exactly what happens in this movie but what I will say that the movie contains one of the most destructive and the most creative aspects in how each one of us lives our lives -- our minds.

And sure, you may have heard that all before and you may have read a thousand and one books on the subject and it's probable that it's all rushed passed you and if you've heard it one time then you've heard it a thousand times before and I understand that...

But let me suggest something to you that when you hear or see the same subject matter and you view it in an entirely NEW way and you take it in in a completely new way then it'll hit you like a thousand volts of electricity. It'll be like a whooshing energy picking you up and somehow gently forcing you to see things differently because that's where ALL the problems and answers happen in life -- in HOW WE SEE THINGS!

So, with these 12, adult, grown up men, we get to see how they've been conditioned to their personal thinking and their assumptions and their prejudices and their ideals and their viewpoints and their rationale and their beliefs that are all soaked up in their own personal drama and tragedy.

And then, piece by piece, evidence after evidence, thought after thought, conversation after conversation, anger after anger, the mind... shifts.

Theirs... as well as ours!

Imagine, the point of view we hold so firmly and so closely and so desperately cling to, simply vanishes into thin air!

And it's so beautiful to see and it's so magnificent to witness and it all takes your breath away because right there, right on that very screeen, we're seeing our own hardened arteries and our own drama of life and our own stubborn ideas and fears... melt and wither and deflate and it's just tearful when it happens... I mean, really, it's just tearful and heart wrenching because, possibly, for the very first time, we can see how we're living a hardened assumptive lie and we've wasted an enormous amount of time immersed in that lie... and now, without even realising it, there's an opening, a way out of this mind game, a clear path to walk on... and each one of us can experience it.

So now if you're simply looking for a dramtic movie to keep you entertained over the coming weeks, then 12 Angry Men, fits, perfectly.

However, if you're looking to also have your life be forever changed and if you're open to that astonishing possibility, then I invite you to witness a miracle in motion by seeing... 12 Angry Men because it's just too good a life changing lesson to pass by.

Raja Hireker

(And if you do buy it and you do see it and it doesn't create a stir within you in a dramatic way then just send the movie to me - email me for address - and I'll pay you whatever you spent to get it... plus 50% extra on top of that)

CoachingByWriting
(coming soon)

Our Day IS Our Whole Life!

What if it was your birthday... every single day... would you like that? And, what if you realised that every time you went to sleep, you weren't sure if you'd wake up -- now how would you like that!

Well, let me suggest something to you that you may not have realised till now. It's this: Every single moment, we're born anew. That's right. And if every single moment we're born anew, that means, the old us, dies away... every single moment.

How does all that sit with you? Are you comfortable with it?

Okay, so when you haven't seen someone in a while, and then you do, you'd have noticed they would have aged a little, their nails may be a little longer, their hair may not be as you know it to be, their voice or their complexion or their language or something would have changed.

But what happens if you instead, see that same person, every single day... it's true that the visible signs of change, wouldn't be so visible.

So what does this all mean?

It means that we are changing at lightning fast speeds that we can't even see it. It means that we're just like a candle flame -- renewing and dying away and renewing and dying away... hundreds, thousands, even millions of times a day.

It also means this -- Our Day IS Our Whole Life!

And if you get that and if you absorb that and if you totally immerse yourself in the truth of that statement, you'll revere and treasure and totally respect you, your life and the relationship you have with those in your life... because when you really get that when you put your head on the pillow, and you close your eyes and you fall into a deep sleep, where do you go... where are you at that time... aren't you in other words, dead to the world?

Oh how I wish you really really get that because it WILL set your life alight. You'll NEVER look at your life in the same way again. And that's a good thing because let's face it, most of us are in this cosy world of make believe that we're somehow going to live forever and that we're somewhat immortal and there are plenty of days left for "living the best years of our lives".

There's no truth in that and it's nothing more than a hopeless pile of self contaminated hype and we do want to live in the truth, don't we? Life is the present moment and nothing more. We wake up to a new day. Let's think of it as our birthday. Because it is... it's the birth of a new day.

And we can live our day as if it's our last day. And when we get ready for bed, it's like we're not there, when we're in that deep sleep. It's like placing the garland of flowers around our necks... just like when someone dies in the East.

And then, when the birds chirp and the sun creeps in through the crack in the curtain, it's a new day. It's our birthday again. Hooray!! Here, have a slice of birthday cake. And why not have it be like that... everyday... because, our day, IS our whole life!!

A Vote for Personal Dedication

Whilst global euphoria settles, Barack Obama has gone to work. To work on... MAKING THINGS WORK. To back up his commitment and dedication to his message of change.

There's a strong but scary belief that America's icon President is simply going to radically change the lives of not only millions of Americans, but the lives of millions all around the world.

In America, there's a strong current of belief filtering into the mindstream of many that says, "we don't have to do anything because we've elected the right man for the job and all our worries, miseries, bad fortune... will be washed away... we're free, thank the lord we are free".

It's simply not true.

It's as if winning the race for the Presidency will automatically mean that everyone will be instantly transformed! How dangerous is that!

Oh, how many of us wish for that to happen in our own lives. To be taken out of one's current misery, and then, transported on the wave of emotion to an equivalent White House of our own.

If Barack Obama thought like that, he'd have never dreamt of 'going into' politics... let alone become the President of America in one of the most beautifully created campaigns you'd ever wish to see.

And for me, he IS a global icon. Bigger than any pop star, sports person, artist, writer, business person, you name it A TRUE role model. A person EVERYONE can learn from. And what has he got that we all look for in ourselves?

How about fierce dedication. How about unrelenting persistence. How about the courage and strength to stand up for what one believes. How about perfecting and practising his communication skills. How about the love for his family. How about the ability to lead himself and others. How about acting and doing, rather than wishing and hoping. How about voting for and believing in, oneself...

He's created a stir in the world like no other human being that I can think of. And, as with any significant victory, one cannot do it in isolation. Nothing creates impact like spirited cooperation. Nothing. And we should all bear that in mind, because...

It's hard being a successful hermit.

The Powerful Stupidity of Non Judgement

Have you ever read or heard the 'wise ones' when they say, "oh, the key to extraordinary living happens when we're non judgemental."

I used to believe that. I used to think that I'd reach some sort of exalted celestial status when I incorporate non judgment into my everyday existence. To my every moment.

I bought into all that. And what a futile and hopeless instruction that was.

That's because the job of the mind, is to judge. That's its JOB!

Now, I fully understand and practice being non jugdemental when the need arises. And what I mean by non-judgemental is observing but without giving comment. Without letting the full force of my mind let loose on the issue at hand.

So, I can see the news of global financial chaos. I can hear all about the incompetence of people in high places. I can give no thought to the football team playing such a lousy game.

I can practice non judgement.

However, when you ask someone who is TOTALLY into all this 'non judgement movement' and you ask them, "what exactly do you mean by non judgement and when do you DO this non judgemental stuff... how does that all work?"

Naturally I get the long long silence and the wide eyed stare that tells me I'm either the president of the loony society or that I'm some sort of mad hatter prankster playing one heavy joke on them.

The fact of the matter is we're ALL practicing the practice of... being judgemental.

A person first has to judge that they're going to practice being non judgemental. That kind of puts a hole in the entire thinking, doesn't it?

Once again, the job of the mind, is to judge. And it's doing it EVERY MOMENT.

Is it rainy or sunny... am I tired or not... am I hungry or not... will I exercise or not... will I write or not... will I wear black or blue... will I have coffee or tea... will I watch this channel or this...

There's no mystery. There's no science. There's no deeper hidden meaning to the idea of being judgemental. There's no one coming down to give you a whack across the knuckles because you've been a bad bad judgemental person.

If you really want to use the power of being non judgmental, do it when trauma, sorrow, negativity strikes you. Attach NO story or judgment to it all.

If a long term client says they do not want to conduct business with you ever again, attach no story to that. But instead, get busy at creating better quality relationships with others.

If family members decide to 'let you have it', you can practice saying nothing. Doing nothing. Being, nothing. That is, if you're looking for peace harmony and happiness... for yourself.

And of course, there will be times when you will want to put your best case forward. And that's nothing more than the sheer beauty of... being judgemental... in a relaxed and loving way!

If you're not aware of what you're mentally letting into your brain, you'll have your senses scrubbed clean of all its goodness and quality, and instead, without you ever realising, it'll be replaced with the confusion and drama from those who really have no idea what the hell they are talking about.

And if you let it go on long enough, you'll find that your life will simply drift, drfit drift on the waves of assumption and conjecture.