BAH... I'm Really Not Creative!

Most of us think we're not at all creative... in any way.

That we've not one creative bone in our bods.

Gawd, bah and humbug.

Because of course, all made up gobbledegook.

Really?

Yes.

And do you know what, I'll prove it.

That's right.

I'll prove it to you beyond any doubt whatsoever that you, me, the next door neighbour, and yes, even that person you feel is the dimmest on the planet, is creative, inventive and a magical marvel!

Big promise huh.

Okay, so the people in your life, what are they to you?

?????

Yes, not who are they to you, but what are they to you?

Stumped?

Let me give you a few clues.

See your family member over there, what kinds of labels have you given them?

Happy, sad, intuitive, grumpy, friendly, mean, blunt, caring, joyous...

Yes, they're probably all of them, at certain points in the day, week, month or year.

And what about others you come into contact with, how do you interpret what they're about? And what about those you see in the news, on the television... got anything to say about them?

Here's the truth --

We all create and invent human characters all the time. WE CREATE them. Not as they are, but as WE see them. We INVENT them as per our imaginary brush and palette.

And don't we make them up to be anyone or anything we choose? Don't we just do that, label and describe them anyway we please, and then keep on adding to it?

And we're doing it... ALL THE TIME... every DAY.

Marvellous creators and inventors or what!!

And look, it gets rather exciting because if we truly understand that we create and invent others out of our own perception (and we also do that to ourselves - invent ourselves to be the current 'us'.) then... we can create and invent ourselves and others, to be the best versions of them and us we can ever make!

Of course, that'll have major consequences if we do that.

How so?

Well, if we've created and invented others (and ourselves) to be rather negative, boring and not that interesting, then the direct opposite of that is, well... challenging if not revolutionary!

And we can create and invent that ... at the drop of a hat. As we proven we can, day after day after day.

So ask this question, to each and every area of your life - "what can I create and invent here that would lead me to get the result I want?"

Now doesn't THAT get your creative juices flowing? About what's REALLY possible for you?

And doesn't this answer my claim at the top of this post - that we're all creative, all of us? It's just that we haven't fully realised that - until now :)

RH

"Cross Your Fingers... Wear The Lucky Shirts... Put Your Hands Together And We May Just Do It!"... er...RUBBISH!

The England football team beat Slovenia to roll on into the next stages of the World Cup.

The England team didn't cross their fingers or put their hands together. They did wear red shirts however, though wearing a 'lucky' shirt isn't enough to sway things in the biggest of football stages.

So what happened? How come England got through in this match whilst a few days earlier, they participated in what was probably the worst game ever played... what on earth happened?

Well, they turned up and played the game the best they can play it. That's what happened. The passion, the flair, the purpose, the commitment, the energy, the teamwork... all of that happened because the players wanted to play and win.

Crossing fingers, praying and hoping for the best, doesn't produce the kind of results anyone wants.

Participation, activity and getting involved, works. Try it in any area of life that seems to be, 'getting away from you'.

And if you see someone heading for the cross your fingers disaster in their lives, help them untangle their fingers and show them how to get busy using those fingers to help serve someone else -- by writing a letter, dialing a phone number, lifting a blockage...

Results happen... through movement and activity -- and not through finger crossing and wishing.

www.RajaHireker.com

Making It... Without Screwing Up Life

Most of us are pretty CLUELESS when it comes to defining our own personal success. We've no idea what the heck it means.

Given the chance to answer the question- most will mumble stuff along the lines of ample money, better relationships, good career... stuff like that, though said with out any conviction, meaning or excitement.

It's a rare bird that'll give you answers like happiness, fun, excitement, adventure, deep loving relationships.

Look at the public image icons touted as 'successful' - singers, sports people, officials, CEO's, leaders - most are successful in one or at most, maybe two areas of life.

But look deeper at what they're lives are REALLY like.

Most have relationship wreckages - maybe a public mask, and a true inner private mask revealing nothing but disaster.

Take those 'successful business or owners or company BIG CHEESES' --

They'll be the saviour of their enterprises, but the wreckage president of their marriages, relationships and communications with all those that were once dear to them.

"Success"... though at what expense? And at WHOSE expense?

See what you can get from this -

A man was headhunted by two powerful firms. One gave him half the salary the other was giving. They were both intense jobs, requiring huge amounts of time and jet hopping. As this man was divorced, it seemed to him that the more money option was the obvious one to make in light of his personal circumstances.

However, the recruiter from the company offering half the salary was really persistent and wanted to meet the wanted man. After a week there was a meeting scheduled. The day before the meeting, the recruiter phoned the wanted man and said--

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot, I'll be leaving to go on a business trip for a lengthy period of time and this is the last night with my family and I promised them I'd be having dinner with them... let's reschedule."

The wanted man put the phone down after that little conversation and took a deep breathe as he sank even farther into his soft leather chair.

The wanted man was divorced because he couldn't arrange his life around his most precious assets - his family.

And here was a powerful recruiting executive from this huge firm being open and direct about his most precious assets - and, he treated them exactly in that way.

The wanted man was so taken by what he experienced that after a few weeks he met with half paying company and... went to work for them.

Why, what happened?

The wanted man liked the culture and, he saw a demonstration of exactly how to maintain relationships - no matter how high up the ladder you are. So, with that in mind, he negotiated that he be flown once every fortnight to where his family lived and for those two days every fortnight, he would not be answering his mobile - no matter what.

He signed the deal, with his most precious assets, his family and relationships - being at the very core of his negotiations.

We can ALL revere our most precious assets - and demonstrate that through actions and behaviour rather than sentiments and wishing things were different.

Because... look at the ultimate price we eventually end up paying!

We can 'make it', without screwing up life. And it all starts with our own thinking as to what's really important to us... REALLY important!

RH

Is That The Best You Can Do?

It's interesting what simple questions can do - if you let them into your life.

Take the question opening up this blog - is that the best you can do?

For most of us, we're playing way under our best, we're being, way less than our best - in most areas of life - though we rarely think about it in any kind of serious way at all.

Imagine you're a swimmer, wanting to improve your lap timings - and your coach asks - is that the best you can do?

You may think you've given all you've got to give - but what if, unknown to you, your coach strapped on a rubber shark fin to his back and whilst you were in the water, someone yelled out to you -- SHARK!!

You look behind and you see this shark ripping through the water, nearly edging its nose to your toes - what are you going to do now?

Well, you'd either freeze and get eaten or you're going to swim the race of your life.

Is that the best you can do?

Hmmm...

And what if we apply a similar thinking to what we do in each day - what if we ask that - is that the best you can do question - whether what we're doing in the moment is a business, job, health, relationship, financial, communication or any other activity based task we're engaged in?

Making that presentation - is that the best you can do?
Having a heart to heart - is that the fullest you can engage?
Doing your exercise programme - is that the best effort you can put in?
Taking care of finances - is that the best way to manage it all?
Creating customers who fall in love with you - are you doing enough to make that real?
Being happy - is that the most amount of time you allow yourself to be happy?

And here's the biggest of them all...

Is that the most you can LOVE?

How about for you?

Is that the best you can do with what you've got going on in your life?

If not, get yourself a shark coach!

Beware... The Voodoo Pouch Will Get Ya!!

See that little bit of paper with a threaded cross on it? Well, that bit of paper is a folded up envelope and it was given to me, oh, around seven years ago.

Who gave it?

Well, it was given to me by someone who looked like one version of a 'holy' person.

Now what had happened was that I was really curious as to the kind of mental voodoo these practitioners, practice.

Well, according to said holy person, I was suffering with some form of digestive problem and that I should cut out eating eggs or, BAD things would happen to me.

Hmmm.

He then went on to tell me a few other things that would mean disaster for me if I didn't heed his words.

He finished off his elaborate presentation with a few mantras and another few words of concern and caution.

And do you know the funny thing about it all? The fellow wanted me to pay him for the damage and doom he thought he fed into my mind.

Amazing!

I told him that if his predictions worked out to the letter then I'd gladly pay him. And, on top of that, I'd tell everyone how great this el magicino was.

It's been several years now and I'm yet to pay him. In fact, he'll probably be waiting for the rest of his life because nothing worked out as he said it would.

Sadly for him, I didn't buy into the fear or the mesmeric voodoo he thought he'd got me with.

Though, I'm sure he's as rich as a rich person can be because he'll have bagged hundreds, if not thousands of others who DO buy into everything they're told - good or bad.

Now, I kept that envelope pinned up on my wall for the last several years, but now... it's coming down.

Why?

Oh, because I'm cleaning up and getting rid of the things I don't want.

I kept that envelope for all this time as a playful reminder, though, it contains a serious message within it - we all hold ourselves ransom in one way or another because of the ridiculous story, spin and perception we put on events, information and conversations.

Now here's something fun for you to do -

If there's someone you know who is not performing or not living freely in any area of their life, and you both know it, check to see if they've got their own version of that red threaded envelope, hiding under the roof of their head!

And if so, yank it out and toss it into the fire.

Do that and you'll really have a friend for life!

Bye-bye mantra, bye-bye voodoo pouch.

Hire People Who Inspire!

Seems crazy... hiring people into postions of high responsibility... who are as bland and as dry as toast, unable to truly motivate, inspire or command respect... especially when their results prove it all.

So who's to blame - the hirer?

Possibly.

But then again, not many are courageous enough to say, "heck, we made a big blunder... we've got the wrong person in the job... it's all our fault!"

If you read the snippet below, you'll see a piece I wrote to Sky Sports. It was in reply to a post on one of their blogs to do with the sacking of the National Team's (Great Britain) tennis coach.

Of course, it didn't get published. Simply a message to say something like it may get published though will have to ne considered by the... blah blah blah.

So why not; why didn't it get published?

Oh, I think it's probably a lot to do with the hirer's not taking responsibility... for putting the wrong person in the job and, for Sky probably supporting the nitwits who run the tennis (non!) show here in GB.

"On John Lloyd's (thank goodness) adios, here's the thing; it doesn't matter WHO the coach is - so long as they have and energy, a spirit and a way about them that signals... INSPIRATION.

When you look at JL, there's no energy or passion about him. There's a flatness, a mediocre neutrality about him. There's no spirit about him that's contagious enough for players to catch. When you hear JL's tv commentary, there's enough evidence there to tell a person that "here's blandness in action!"

In any walk of life, when you get a walking, living, breathing inspirer, people around them, do great things. And something else - it's not the HOW TO that's missing. It's not the technical aspects that need addressing so much then the DESIRE, the INNER DRIVE AND WANT.

One can set up as many grass root programmes as they want - if there's no burning desire coming from a player, it really doesn't matter. CLUE: Hire a spirited inspirer. That'll get the balls really thwacking, trophies lifted and the tennis scene... REALLY humming.

Yes, ONE person really can make ALL the difference in the world". www.RajaHireker.com

Live The Right Way - Be a NON Complainer

Whiners, thumbsuckers, complainers and blame specialists, all have one thing in common...

THEIR OWN PROFESSIONALISM...

... in the special art of... PRACTICED MISERY.

The fact is, we ALL may have been influenced by our own madness at some time or another. We may still be at the mercy of it to a certain degree.

But c'mon... there's got to be a sell-by-date on all that foolishness... right?

Continually whinging, whining, blaming and complaining about... our health, our job, our business, the state of the economy, our own economy, rogue politicians, the crummy weather, relationships, confidence levels, life prospects, age, time...

... complaining about any of that DOESN'T help. Doesn't move us forward. Doesn't help us fix what needs to be fixed.

Have you heard of Randy Pausch?

A much loved Professor at Carnegie Mellon University.

He's NOT a complainer.

Even when diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. (terminal)

He chose to live life... to the fullest... with fun, excitement and adventure.

And he chose to live that way, well before being diagnosed.

But now, knowing what he now knew, his life, took on a whole new meaning.

Here's a ten minute or so video.

Watch it.

We ALL need to learn a number of lessons... in how to live well. We need teachers to teach and inspire. You'll find Dr Randy Pausch hard to beat as a life educator, inspirer and a really good human being.



If you know someone who continually complains about a part of their life, and does nothing about it, stick this video in front of their eyes.

If YOU have been complaining and whining about something you've wanted, but is not happening... or... something unwanted has happened that has you locked into a being a blithering blamer, see this video and note the effect it has on you.

And if it doesn't have an effect on you... check your pulse to see if you're still living!

How about making this a 2010 commitment (or even, a life commitment) - to crush blaming, whining, thumbsucking and complaining in all its forms, and instead... DO SOMETHING TO FIX WHAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED!

It's an interesting choice - whining and complaining or fixing things and moving on.

And the rewards of both?

Well, it's either... happiness or misery.

And we can choose the kind of day-to-day experience we want.

Raja Hireker

P.S. Here's the video made AFTER Dr Randy Pausch's death.

Fearless Artistry

Watching an artist, a real artist perform their work, is nothing but magical.

Whether it's in sport, literature, entertainment, painting... artistry is artistry.

And we've all been in such presence of an artist because we can feel it, see it, experience it. It's what it DOES to us.

True artistry literally, takes your breath away. It leaves you speechless. Spellbound. Tearful.

I'd like to invite you to watch something.

But before that, please read what follows. It's important to what you'll witness.

The video you're about to see, shows the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent, 24 year old Kseynia Simonova. She's seen drawing a series of pictures on an illuminated sand table, showing how ordinary people were affected by the World War II invasion on her country.

Personally, I've never seen such creative artistry in any other shape or form.

Of course, you can make up your own mind.

Hanging Ourselves With Our Own Noose!

There's an unfair place, where the judge, the jurors, everyone - has got it in for us.

But you know, in this Kangaroo Court, EVERYTHING is fair and just.

Huh?

Here's something simple, though what I think, powerful at the same time.

We need nothing OUTSIDE of us to commit ourselves to a life we hate! One of misery. One of continual blame and apathy.

Quite honestly, we pretty much sentence ourselves to the life we have based on nothing more than the thoughts we feed ourselves.

And often, no... ALWAYS!... it's 100% to do with the make-believe stories we create and feed ourselves.

And what happens when you feed something, continually? That's right - it GROWS and EXPANDS... and, depending on the thought, it turns into something ghastly and horrible.

So, what happens when you catch yourself saying (and it's only ALWAYS the thought that creates all of it)...

... "how do I get past the fear, how do I get the courage, how do I get the desire, I'm uncomfortable about this, how do I get passed that, I'm overwhelmed with things, how can I manage things, I've got so many things going on that I don't know what to focus on, I have faith and hope that things will get better but it doesn't seem to be working..."

So of course, there's NOTHING going on here apart from the sweet stories we stick to for dear life! And we've continually - just like a guest we've grown fond of and accustomed to - feed the story until it becomes a rampant, self obsessed, personal philosophy.

I'm scared - A STORY we've made up.

I need more courage - a STORY that says I've no courage.

I need to be more willing - a STORY that says I won't do anything until I become more willing, first.

I need to get past the fear - a MAKE-BELIEVE story we hold onto to get us OUT of action.

Make-believe thoughts - they'll cripple us -- if we let them.

Ask a kid if they'd like to go out to and play in the snow and they'll leap up and let out a yell that you wouldn't believe. Ask the kid if they want to go out and play in the snow wearing shorts and a t-shirt, they'll look at you and think you're Santa who has just made their biggest wish, come true!

You'll notice that there's no story there that kids cling to. There's no fear.

There's no need to feel courageous or muster up the willingness to do it - they DO IT, without any kind of silly, made up, story.

There's nothing getting in the way of what they want - there's just super excitement and a life of adventure.

Can we live like that as adults?

Sure. All we need do is practice a story that fuels and feeds us in a way that supports what we want.

No stupid foolish story needed - especially the ones we hang ourselves with... those stories we cling that act like our own noose - where we become the judge and jury in a Kangaroo Court... created out of our own madness.

Simply pure excited adventure and energy. And that comes by deliberately choosing what we want and how we want to live. Why not script and create another story for you - one that'll have you falling in love with YOU and what you want?

Are You Ready to... Turn Pro?

What if your life could change because of one decision, one distinction, one stroke... do you think it can happen?

Why not?

Just as our life momentarily changes when we take a new side road or a new route, so it is when we shift our minds.

If you've never read the WAR of ART by Steven Pressfield, do it. Your life can change... if you want it to.

There's one phrase in that book (in fact, it's only TWO WORDS) that has forced its existence into my mind.

What's the two words?

TURNING PRO

That's it!

That's what has me fired and fueled and looking at every aspect of my life in a completely different way than I would normally be doing so.

What changed?

I changed.

I changed my thinking about what's possible.

And of course, whenever there's a declaration about wanting change to happen, then naturally, there's RESITANCE waiting... just around the corner... looking to drag our sorry behinds, to where it belongs - normality and mediocrity.

Steven Pressfield says it like this --

"Resistance HATES it when we turn pro!"

I like that.

I really like that because it's so true and it's so full of common-sense insight that it's so easy for it to slip under our conscious awakened thoughts.

And here's something else that happens when we Turn Pro (and that's true for ANYTHING we care deeply enough about):

What happens is that we COMMIT. We play at a different level. We play for keeps.

That's what happens when we TURN PRO.

And when it comes to writing and getting things done, there's no messing about with a Pro.

Someone once asked Somerset Maugham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration.

"I write only when inspiration strikes, he replied. Fortunately, it strikes every morning at nine o' clock, sharp"

A Pro.

What's important is the WORK.

Not the excuses. Not the reasons. Not the inner idiocy. None of that.

What matters most is DOING THE WORK.

It's what separates the Pros... from the rest

The book, the WAR of ART - Breakthrough the Blocks and Win Your Creative Battles - Steven Pressfield... Get it. It'll change your life... if you'll allow it in and are open to it.

Ideas Are Like Slippery Fish - Spear Them With a Pencil Before They Get Away!

Last Friday I was sitting with a, sort of, prospective marketing and writing client.

There was no agenda or rigidity as such. Just shooting the idea breeze, as it were.

And the amazing thing that happens when you have no real agenda, no real clue as to where you're heading, the almost miraculous can happen.

If you take a look at that piece of paper above, in the top left is my one hour or so meeting. (The rest of the doodles and scribbles are... other meetings!)

Now here's what's super instructive about this: my prospective client had a number of ideas in how to market his product and services. And they were good.

So when he saw me think, ask questions, process a number of thoughts and then take those ideas that were running about in my mind and scribble them down onto that piece of harmless, scrunched up paper, he was gasping for breath when he saw the little tiny blueprint I created for him.

I really didn't know what was going to materialise from our conversation from the outset.

That's what my good friend and author Steve Chandler says about creating from where you are - miracles can happen right where you are, in the current moment.

How true.

Here's what's key: if all I did was deliver those ideas and let them swim around in the atmosphere for the time we were together, and did nothing more but try to remember them at some future date, we'd both be saying... "what they heck can you remember about our meeting?"

Of course, the answer being... a BIG FAT NOTHING!

Ideas are so fleeting and so delicate that if we don't spear them with a pencil and grab them with all our might, they'll sail away into the vast ocean of life... never to resurface in their original form again.

Marketing ideas, business ideas, writing ideas, coaching ideas, fearless living ideas... they are all waiting to be created and pounced on.

Do it... get your notepaper and pencil and create your world!

(Oh, and as an aside, when you really DELIVER your stuff, people want to buy into it. I mean, they really want to buy into it!)

The Practice of Talent

Friend and Coach, Steve Chandler, mentioned a book in a recent communication to members of his Club Fearless (http://www.clubfearless.net/).

The title of the book intrigued me, as well as the work inside. The book's full title is - The Talent Code - unlocking the secret of skill in maths, art, music, sport, and just about anything else. Written by author, Daniel Coyle.

The book is an amazing journey into the 'talent hotbeds' of the world. If you thought genius' was reserved for 'others', get this book and you'll find a hotbed of lies and assumptions we may have been living with for years.

The key idea that I took away (and which was totally evident from the work in the book) was that talent and skill, is available to everyone because we all have it, in some way, shape or form.

And, that, when practiced and rehearsed and when we are coached or mentored to reach the best version of what we're capable of, we can literally, shift our own world.

I've also scuffed and dog eared and written notes on almost every page of a book called, 'You Haven't Taught if They Haven't Learned.'

This book is golden because it comes from two people - one (Swen Nater) who has been directly mentored and tutored by the legendary master basketball coach, Coach John Wooden, and, the other (Ronald Gallimore) who studied and analysed the coaching principles, philosophies and practices of the great Wooden. And he identified certain patterns and traits we can all use to better our lives in whatever area we choose.

(John Wooden coached UCLA - University of California, Los Angeles - to an unprecented 10 victories in the most demanding of college sports arenas you can imagine. And, it wasn't by accident or luck that he became the 'winningest' coach in history.)

A couple of Coach Wooden's many guiding principles, has to do with practice and skill. And, that by hard diligent application, any skill could be learned.

He was a master at ensuring his practice sessions were nothing but skill, team spirit and conditioning based, and, that there was no time wasted in unnecessary activity. In fact, the planning of his practice session lasted longer than the practice session itself!

Coach Wooden was known to have put his players through a process until players could execute the fundamentals in an automatic and unconscious way.

In other words, the disciplined practice of talent.
Those are 4 words worth considering jotting down - especially if you're looking to help others (or yourself) to excel at something where they're not quite 'there' yet.

Continuing with the sporting context here, let me use another couple because I think it ties things together.

The two soccer players you see on the left are considered two of the best in the world.

Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.

Both players went head to head in the recent European Cup Winner's Final where Messi, playing for Barcelona, outshone his fellow skill merchant who played for Manchester United, where Barcelona, lifted the trophy.

What I found instructional and informative, were the pre-match comments of Manchester United's manager and coach, Sir Alex Ferguson - it was about the skill and application of that skill by both 'gifted grafters'.

Ferguson strongly believes that it's their work ethic that sets them apart. That they marry their talents with hard work. He says... "there are some players like Messi and Ronaldo who are innately gifted. But this is not enough and there is a practice element which becomes very important".

He also went on to say...

"If you watch Ronaldo, he practices after every squad training session".

What's obvious here is that the 'special quality' most top players posses, is the fact that they're willing to want to go and look for that extra edge. And they do that by creating and developing something on their own.

There's something about the phrase "an overnight success" that has 'injustice' written all over it. But then again, I suppose that those who do anything worthwhile, practice their overnight success to perfection - every night!

Andy Murray is hoping to become Britain's Men's Wimbledon Singles Tennis champ - after a 71-year drought. The last British man to lift the trophy in victory, was, Fred Perry.

Many years ago, Perry (below) was asked about whether the nation would produce another Wimbledon winner.

His answer was somewhat revealing and a kick in the head to all those 'overnight success' seekers.

"It's not a matter of producing anybody," he said. "It's a case of somebody, somewhere, who wants to succeed badly enough and is determined and bloody-minded enough to make sure he does."

Skill and talent lies in head zone of anyone and everyone.

Practice is the instructive genius that'll make anyone a believer... of themselves. And if you care to prove it, all you've got to do is... put it to the test.

Raja Hireker
www.CoachingByWriting.com

Anything We've Ever Really Wanted... We've Got!!

There was a time I used to crib about wanting a better physique, a better paying job, being a better tennis player, become fearless and goal oriented... be funnier... and everything else I said I wanted.

And, when I didn't get what I thought I wanted, I simply put it down to nothing much in particular. What I mean by that is I didn't really take a deep look into the dynamics of what was going on.

The fact of the matter is, there isn't much analysing to do.

Because, whatever I really want, I've got.

And let me broaden this out...

Whatever any of us has wanted, we've got.

And that's a key word, want, because, we either do something to get what we say we want, or... we don't do nothing much in particular.

Now if it's the latter, then what that means is that we never really truly deeply wanted it in the first place!

And that's good to know because why unnecessarily beat ourselves up over something we think we want, but do nothing to get it.

So if I really really wanted a better physique, I'd be creating a plan, a system, a programme of work in order to reach my desired physique. I'd be doing daily things like sit ups, squats, pull ups... I'd be totally aware of how I move through the day. (And, in fact, that's exactly what I've been doing for the last couple of months now and I'm experiencing a wonderful difference in my strength, stamina, 'look', mental clarity, ability to concentrate and get more done)

On the other hand, if all I did was wish a better physique into existence and simply hoped my health would improve with a little half-hearted dabbling here and there, then it's not something I really really want to have happen in my life.

And we can apply that mindshift thinking and processing to ANYTHING we say we want in our lives.

What about those in business?

Can we really want to have our business explode and be the best version of it that it can possibly be?

Sure... if we truly WANT that.

So, if I really wanted that to be the case, to make my business the best possible version that it can be, then I'd have to be working, acting in accordance to a plan of prosperity.

I'd have to be totally consumed with serving my customers and clients with products and services that can benefit their lives.

I'd plan to keep in regular contact and communication with my customers... I'd be listening to what my customers have to tell me... I'd be creating new, joyful experiences for customers, employees and, myself.

I'd commit to doing one task at a time. I'd commit to outsource the things I can't or don't want to do.

Can you see there's a powerful, practical, purposeful difference at play here than merely winging it or hoping that the business will take care of it self, which in turn, will magically, give me what I want?

It's Disneyland thinking. Pixie dust sprinkling.

And the truth of the matter is... (and whether we like hearing it or not, isn't going to make a difference to this truth), all of us have got what we want in our life currently, because... that's what we want!

It's not much more complicated than that.

There's really no need to reach for the long, drawn out services of a psychologist or psychiatrist - this is plain simple stuff -- we either want things, or, we don't. We either do things, or we don't.

The man says to me that his relationship is on a roller coaster of being either one of deep creeping silence and separateness, and then, it changes to one of banging voices, screaming madness and horrible blame.

And when I suggested that that... "that's what you want your relationship to be like or you wouldn't be doing your part", it stopped him, cold.

So, what is it you REALLY WANT? (without having to wait for Santa to shower you with his own idea of what you want!)

Name it, then... go claim it!

www.CoachingByWriting.com

Face to Face With Real Life Fearlessness

So, what do you do when you see a child who's bleeding from the mouth after a fall from the monkey bars at the local playground?

And, what if that child was, your very own!

Well, that's what happened to my five year old daughter a few days ago.

And, quite frankly, I thought I knew what fearlessness meant, until I saw what took place on the surgeon's operating table.

I mean, we've all read about some act of fearlessness, courage and boldness, but, we've probably never really identified or felt it... up close... and, personal.

So when the consulting surgeon said that it's better that the lower lip was operated on (my daughter fell from a height of around five feet, letting go of the monkey bars, but landed on her chin, so pushing her lower teeth through her bottom lip), both my wife and I agreed.

We also agreed that general anesthetic would be better, but, settled for local anesthetic.

So what the surgeon first did was apply an anesthetic gel to the ripped and torn area of my daughter's lower lip.

What happened next, jolted us.

The surgeon said that he was going to apply stitches to the area, now, right at that very moment.

What jolted us was the fact that there was no local anesthetic being given.

When we asked the surgeon, he just said that we should do it now because it just needed to be done, right there and then.

So now I was spread across the surgeon's consulting couch to get in front of my daughter who was propped up against the back support.

I was showing her pictures and videos on my mobile phone, just to distract her attention from the stuff that was about to happen.

My wife positioned herself behind my daughter's head, supporting and comforting her from that position.

The blood was now, flowing.

My daughter, was screaming.

I was fumbling with the various images on the phone, trying to talk through the pictures and videos to my daughter.

The surgeon was stitching, and stitching, and stitching.

It seemed like, an eternity.

I was getting hotter and hotter.

I was sweating, madly.

Like I had some form of tropical fever.

I needed air.

No. I WANTED air!

Desperately.

I removed my sweater with one hand, still fumbling with the phone in the other.

The surgeon looked up at me and asked if I was okay.

"I'm burning up" I told him.

And in a matter of seconds, he'd finished his work.

I was now in the corner, head between my knees.

My daughter was having the blood wiped from around her mouth area. She had five stitches.

I looked up at her from where I was sitting, still a little hot, eyes moist. And totally in awe of what happened.

I'd just witnessed pure courage and fearlessness... in all its glory and reality.

My daughter.

She's my super hero.

Who's yours?

Who Are You Serving?

If you're a coach, consultant or anyone exchanging high value services for money, this will be a rather important message for you.

In fact, if you’re experiencing any sort of lack or frustration in ANY area of life, this will still be rather important for you.

I know many authors, consultants, coaches, public speakers, healers, therapists and professionals of all kinds... who are barely making enough to get by.

Why is that?

Isn't having an armful of qualifications and certificates, enough for people to find us and demand us to take their money?

Well, quite frankly, those who think that way are literally BROKE.

That's because no matter WHAT it is we do as a profession, someone still has to be SERVED.

And that's an important word - served.

So, if you're struggling or if you know someone who is really struggling with their profession, career or business, ask them this question --
WHO ARE YOU SERVING?

Quite frankly, the only thing that counts is helping and serving others.

So, those professionals who sign up for a thousand and one social networking sites and who are intent in building their 'web of influence'... are spending enormous amounts of time, energy and mental capital on their efforts.

But I bet if you ask them 'who are you serving... where is the value that's been transmitted here?'... you'll get that blank, far away look backed up by a stunned silence that they can't quite wrap their heads around.

Because really - that's the only question you need to ask (again and again) - who are you serving - if you ever find that... you're not making the money you want, don't have the clients you want, don't have the life you want.

And the thing about this question is that it cuts through all the self chatter and the inner mumbo jumbo and the pathetic excuses we throw at ourselves.

Because let's face it; we love to defend ourselves, to rationalise, to give justifications to ourselves when things look like they'll hit the fan, the wardrobe and any other item in the house.

Yes. The question really is an EXCUSE BUSTER. And, it's a powerful RECESSION BUSTING tool, also.

And so let's take a short look at our relationships and see how this all fits together.

Ask a friend you meet occassionally, how their relationships are doing, how are they working out?

Well, for most, their relationships are pretty ho-hum.

Nothing new. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing exciting on a day to day basis.

In fact for many, there's a kind of slow, creeping separateness that gets wider and wider and wider.

So, when you find yourself of someone you know in a crapped out relationship, just notice where the focus of attention is.

Is it on the person themselves or, on the other party in the relationship?

Quite honestly, when you really serve others, when you take the concern and the drama off of you, and you focus on helping others, you can't have a relationship that doesn't work!

It's just not possible.

That's because your attention isn't on you, you're not focussing everything on you - instead, you're serving others, you're helping others, you're looking out for their best interests.

So, if you're feeling frustrated, angry, unhappy, unproductive, lethargic, miserable, depressed... simply turn things around and ask...

WHO am I serving here?

And notice this; when you serve others, you become a true hero to those very people you help and serve.

Now tell me that there's a better way to be than that!

Raja Hireker
www.CoachingByWriting.com

Creative Power - On Tap!!

A friend of mine received a tax bill.

It was for an amount that buckled him.

Briefly.

So, what did he do after gathering himself?

He went out for the longest walk of his life.

And what did he DO whilst walking?

He thought.

He thought how could he be of service to others.

He thought how could he offer something jaw dropping and irresistible.

He came back from his long walk and wrote all he could until his fingers ached and bled.

In fact, he wrote pages and pages of notes that contained -- pages and pages of creative ideas.

So what happened to these creative ideas?

Well, he put the best one, into action, into the marketplace.

And, the marketplace... swallowed it up.

Which meant...TAX BILL PAID! (and one happy friend)

So what's really going on here? Where's the REAL power here? (and we ALL possess it)

Well, it's in the QUESTIONS we ASK OURSELVES.

And there's really no 'in-between' here.

Either the questions help, or hinder.

They bring solutions or simply add to the problem.

They create the possibility of happiness, or misery.

So the true skill here, the true power here, is in asking the right questions.

THAT'S THE MASTER ASSET we all have.

It's just that we may not have practiced using this muscle of all muscles. And that too, in a way that creates what we want.

Many business owners ask the WRONG QUESTIONS.

They're asking - how can we cut back here, what can we get rid of, how can I lower my prices, how can I crush the competition, how can I avoid marketing, how can I be tightfisted with my vendors and suppliers...

When instead...

They could be asking questions like

==> How can I be of better service...

==> What can I add that would improve my customer's lives...

==> How can I better respond to my customers' and prospects' needs...

==> How can I communicate more effectively and moreauthentically to my target audience...

==> How can I improve my advertising and marketing so itbrings in a better response from higher quality prospects...

==> What ways can I make my offer irresistible to the prospects and clients I serve...

==> How can I get my target audience to fall in lovewith me, no matter what the economic climate...

==> How can I grow my business, no matter if everyone around me is closing up shop...

==> How can I get my emails read, responded to and acted on...

The thing about these questions is that they're seeking solutions. They're requesting the asker, to find answers which in turn, create momentum and movement. Answers that benefit the end user (- the client, customer or prospect)

What questions are YOU are asking of your business,career or practice?

And...do you find that the questions you do ask, do they help or do they hinder? Do they add joy, or misery? Are they optimistic based, or loaded with pessimism?

Well, when you make a practice of asking the RIGHT questions, you'll soon notice that there's no room on the table for any other kind!

Keep asking those bright creative questions andwatch your business, career or venture... SOAR!

Raja Hireker

http://www.coachingbywriting.com/

Cracking The Impossible

If you've ever marvelled at what you thought was just simply impossible, then your eyes won't believe what they're seeing in the video below.

I was stunned, actually left breathless with what I saw.

I bought the DVD.

I purchased the book last week - and read it in one day.

Magical.

Now, I realise that the word Impossible has been used to describe many feats and accomplishments... of various kinds.

However, when you see what you're about to see, just picture your own impossible dream and...how it too, can come to life... if you let it!

The Awesome Power of Focus!!

Here's the best example of focus, I've possibly seen.

So, I've dropped my children to school and I'm now in my car, waiting for the traffic lights to turn from red, to green. I'm adjusting the volume on the CD player and somehow, from the corner of my eye, I could sense this frantic movement and activity on the pavement, some twenty to thirty yards ahead of me.

And, I couldn't quite figure what I was concentrating on because there was a mass of people on the pavement, all going about their day during the hustle and bustle of the morning.

And then, somehow, I lost all that movement. It all seemed to have blended into that multi-coloured, swaying sea of humanity.

But, just like a rabbit throwing the fox off the trail, the chase starts again. And this time, I could see exactly what was going on.

A woman was on the run. All the while, she had a little baby, tucked under her right arm like a rugby ball or an American football.

And, with her left arm, she was steering and pushing... an empty pram!

Boy could this woman run!

This was now becoming must viewing.

I tracked her through the crowd, seeing her zip and engineer her way through the denseness like an Olympic runner. Quite frankly, I'd never seen anything like it.

I was thinking to myself that what on earth was going on here. Had she robbed a bank and the pram was her getaway vehicle. And if it was, why was it empty and what was the baby doing at the bank?

Or, had she snatched the child and then found out she'd been rumbled. So, before thinking about giving it all up, she decided to leg it, scarper for her life!

Oh, the drama we can all create!

Well, after those fleeting thoughts evaporated, I let my eyes travel a little further to the direction where the woman was heading.

And then it struck me; this lady, with small baby under her arm, running like a demon, fanatically gripping one of the pram handles... what she was doing was running to catch the bus!

Yes; this lady who was just unbelievable in her commitment and focus, was running to get on a then, stationary bus.

WOW!!... I thought; now that's what I call focus!

There was nothing else on her mind than to get that bus.

There's no gossip going on. There's no debating about things. She's not travelling in two directions at the same time.

One goal. One mission. One game plan.

And, did she get the bus?

Well, I can only speculate and say that if her intensity and her commitment of purpose and if her focus was anything to go by, then yes, I'd say she would've got that bus.

As timing would have it, my 'lights' turned green.

I was on the move.

I tried arching my neck behind whilst driving so I didn't quite see the end result.

However, the important thing was the total focus and the absolute dedication to... go for it.

How many women (or men) would've tucked their little child under their arm like that, run like that, steer a pram like that?

Not many.

It's amazing what we can accomplish when we focus!

If You Think About It Too Much, You'll Burn Your Foot!

So, the first time I got on to the scorching ret hot coals on my crazy firewalk adventure, I breezed through it like a pro.

And the second time? A burnt foot!!

So what happened here? Pro, to a burnt frazzle... all in the space of 15 minutes!

Was it... fear, lack of belief, shaky confidence, lack of enthusiasm?

If I say to you that the cause of my burnt foot, was my own emotion, would you believe me... maybe just a little?

Well, that's exactly what happened - my own emotion and my own thoughts about things.

Let me ask you this:

Have you ever had this happen to you; you have this great idea or thought about something and the more you think about it, you find that you've filled your head with reasons to not go ahead with things.

And so now, you've convinced yourself out of the whole idea. Have you ever had that happen to you?

And on the other hand, have you done something without thinking too much about it? And so, you went ahead and did it without too much care and without the whole debate and conversation about it.

And because of that, you achieved what you wanted?

Well, that's exactly what happened to me and the firewalk.

The first time of asking, I didn't think about what I was doing so I just went ahead and did it. There was no inner chatter and no conversation that was going to convince me out of things. I was focussed.

And, I wasn't riding high on any emotional wave.

However, the second time around, something happened inside my own mind. Some conversation or other had taken place. And however subtle it was, it took place. And in that conversation, some emotion or other took place.

And the result?

A burnt foot.

How many times have we all convinced ourselves out of doing something that we know, deep down, could enhance, boost, create something new and great in our lives?

How many times?

Probably, plenty.

It's really true that our emotions can work for us, or against us.

Because when you really think about it, my task in that firewalk, was to walk from one end, to the other. Nothing else. But, it was my own made up drama that caused the resulting physical pain.

Imagine the tightrope walker walking from one end of the rope or plank, to the other. And it's just that the plank or rope is 1000 feet up and between two buildings... what are your thoughts now?

Again, the only task we're involved in, is to walk from one end to the other.

And maybe you'll see this too, because most things in life that show up as results, are pretty logical and formulaic.

Now what if our emotions take a hold and the inner mumbling starts... what do you think will happen to the walk?!!

Quite naturally... disaster!

But is that tightrope task any different to anything we may want to do?

Well, I'd carefully consider the idea that wherever we're not achieving or succeeding in an area of life that we say is important to us, I'd say there's a firewalk, or tightrope or self hanging conversation going on.

And do you know what - it's only a conversation so what if we could change and create another conversation? One that totally supports what we're up to.

What do you think will happen then!?

Now doesn't that make life rather more interesting than a burnt foot experience?

Stamping Out The Practice of Mediocrity

If you ever wanted to see what class and professionalism and excitement and extraordinary ability is all about, all you have to do is watch and marvel and excite over the tennis matches played between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal.

And when you see these titans in action, you'll not be stumped by mediocrity or lethargy or incompetence. You'll not ever wonder about the lack of magnificence and beauty and finesse and muscle.

But on the other hand, if you wanted to experience what mediocrity and flatness and incompetence and devastating boredom is all about, simply - if you can bear it - listen to the BBC commentators when they're describing the excellence of a Federer and Nadal match up.

And so the 2009 Australian Open final between these extraordinary Tennis Gladiators produced the inevitable glory and drama and excellence.

And, inevitably, the BBC tv commentators produced their flat, funereal, pathetic mixture of incompetence and dryness and mediocrity.

The ability to inspire and move and motivate is what happens when you see true excellence in motion. And that can happen anywhere and everywhere. The movies. The newspapers. Sport. Literature. Our own communication. It can happen everywhere.

However, mediocrity and incompetence and suffocating unprofessionalism is more widespread and obvious, than not. And it's a full time job stamping all that out from our lives.

So now we know that we've got to be aware and on the ball and full of deliberate consciousness if we want to be on the side of excellence and professionalism and excitement.

And when we do that, we'll send mediocrity and incompetence and the pathetic and flat way of being, out of our lives.

So if you want to experience the difference between the extraordinary, and the bland and mediocre, and that too, in the same heartbeat, experience a tennis match between Federer and Nadal and listen to the BBC commentary about it.

(And of course, I'm not including one John McEnroe as one of the mediocre commentators - quite the opposite, he's pretty much the only real class act when it comes to tennis tv commentary)